…but still some signs are sticking out.
I stumbled over a few in my life and I wonder: is it metaphysics? Or just stunning coincidences of life?
Reason, why the question is poping up recently again, is my book discovery in a second hand store. I bought an old book in a vintage store. I sometimes do, cause I use the pages as background for paintings.
When I looked into one of the books at home, I saw the owner wrote her name on the first page. Dorchen Tritschler. The after name was my Mothers birth name, so I asked her, if that woman could have been related to us. And she told me that its her Grandmothers name. My great grandmother!
Inside of the book we found also two old letters… and the post stamp was dated on 11.9.1948.
1948 is already very long ago… but 11.9. is my birthday!
So.. how big are the chances? Is it a sign? What is it saying? I looked into the book. The theme is: a leutnant of world war 1 has fever dreams in which he meets 9 of his ancestors..
I have no idea, if its a sign, or just a ridiculous precise coincidence.
Thing is, there were a few signs in my life that, when I look back, had meaning.
I had dreams where I predicted the house, that I had some years ago. I saw it and knew I would live in it. After the divorce we sold it, like most couples do. Natural process… so everybody starts anew and fresh.
Once I was asking for a sign to make a decision – I asked particular for a giant bird flying between two trees within 1 min. So I was staring at that point. And within seconds.. really.. a giant predator bird was rising from the ground, exactely between that two trees, and was slowly heading towards the sky!!! Tadaaa…
And so on and so forth.. some dreams I had were too personal to share, and i realized its not fair to write privat stuff, so I edited this article a little..
One dream I had I like still the best…cause it became true: a giant blue butterfly did land on my head. He was so big, that his legs
enclosed my hair fully and he wouldn´t let go. Still I felt no fear, I liked him. He was beautiful, shimmering and I walked with him everywhere in the dream. Like a giant pretty hat. A blue butterfly landing on you, means you are ready for a change. Cause a butterfly once was a puppet. Becoming a beautiful new creature.
And there was this GIANT butterfly telling me: you are ready! And I was!
Tonight I had a dream, that made me feel: it is done. You are over the break up. Letting go finally did succeed. I woke up and yes, I breathe in.. I breathe out.. and there is no heartpain anymore in-between the breath. No heavyness. No sigh.. you know, I often had to sigh to let go of the hurt. It is funny, how the body helps the mind and heart to heal. Somehow breathing is a healing process. That´s why they use it in meditation. By the way something I will write about in another blog entry.
So.. the book. Still wondering. Mostly we understand in retrospective. So in some years maybe I look back and it will be shown. Thing is…
In the end, looking for a sign, is already a sign, that deep within you you have the answer yourself. Maybe thats the biggest truth of it all.. 🙂
In the end, you don´t need to see the bird raising between two trees. If you ask already for a sign to leave, then you know, you should!
And for some months I already started to think about, that a lot fear and trauma I have, was passed on by former generations. My parents, grandparents.. etc.. te emotional inheritage we carry is huge sometimes. And sometimes I feel like I am working on things, that are related to traumas from ages ago. Maybe.. and thats a careful guess.. maybe it is just telling me, that I really should look more into that.
well well well.. a lot of guessing… for today I am done with it ahaha.. a lot sun outside. I think, I will take the Romi to a cooler place…