Reaching maturity, or whatever that means. That´s a theme, you start to think about at the age of 38. Slowly saying goodbye to the youth. Welcoming.. well.. the ripe age :).
It has been always a merely difuse word for me. Maturity. Would that mean to give up fun and childishness? Or that one is just serious and grey? Not giving a shit anymore about doing crazy stuff? Having it all so sorted out, so life is just in order and straight and calm?
With my sweet 38 years I am coming to conclusion, that maturity has nothing to do with that outside things.
Maturity is all about the inner things. How much you reflected it through and give it all place.
The thing is that I understand the following:
Love is not the base of happiness. What makes us truely happy is the backbone to stand for our principles and values in life. TO HAVE VALUES to begin with! To never negociate about them. To stick to them and build a life around them. Happiness is grounded in the deep knowledge, that you are in peace with yourself, cause you are not compromising values or the things that are important to you.
Love.. I wanna call it romantic love, cause love, respect and tolerance are part of my definition of values in life… romantic love is not a premise for happiness. Happiness also doesn´t include or exclude it. Romantic love is just an extra in life. A spice.
But when there is no romantic love, it won´t make life less happy. Neither are you becoming more happy having it. Happiness, I believe, is a life, where all aspects of life concord with your principles and values.
If love makes you compromising your values, you will end up unhappy.
But if the love you found is in harmony with your believes and values, love can be a wonderful thing. But in the end, a romantic love is not nessecary for happiness.
I learned, that I have to strengthen my backbone first, to stay firm for the things that matter to me. I feel a deep peace coming with it.
It frees me from outside pressure to be something I am not. It gives me freedom to define the true me. The inner and outside me.
And romantic love.. well.. it became a second priority. Romantic love has to be build around that inner core. Otherwise there won´t be place for it.
And this, yes, this is my definition of maturity.
There was this hype with that app making your face older. Ofcourse I enjoyed it too 😀 But I still prefer the real picture of me as a baby and of me now. How much happened between that two photos. So much life. So many memories.. lot joy. Lot pain. Many mistakes. Big loss. But also many lessons. And a lot of growth..